Been there, done that. I hate that I fit some sick 'stereotype' of the gothic sub-culture. It pisses me off, I joke about it. "Would've gotten more Goth points if I'd succeeded", shit like that helps deal with the feelings of 'failure' for surviving.
My step-father committed suicide when I was about 7. I didn't feel bad that he was gone, though. I'd seen him beat the crap out of my mother on numerous occcasions, so I figured 'fuck him'.
I think that everyone has(or should have) the right to end their lives, if they choose. Without having to deal with selfish people being angry at them for it. The biggest hypocrasy is selfish people calling suicidal people selfish because they have a mental illness. Utter bullshit. People who committ(or attempt) suicide are stuck in a world of pain that they see no other way out of. If I knew someone who told me they were thinking of committing suicide I would try to help them think of a different way to deal with their pain, but I sure as hell wouldn't be pissed at them for doing it. Those ridiculous people who would choose to make a terminally ill patient suffer a prolonged existance in hell when the patient would rather die quietly enrage me. I don't think the right to 'choose' should be limited to abortion. My body, my choice should extend to death and dying, as well.
A couple of years ago one of my cousins shot himself in the head because his baby's momma told him she wasn't going to allow him to see his daughter anymore. She'd been withholding visits just to torment the kid even though he was buying diapers and other things the baby needed. He didn't want to be around if he couldn't see his baby. He never suffered from depression and if he had succeeded, there's no way that bitch would've gotten away with thinking it wasn't her fault. Thankfully, he survived because he jerked the trigger when he fired and the gun wasn't right up against his skull. He's got a big M-shaped scar on the side of his head, now, but I'd rather see that than him in a grave. Some people that committ suicide don't have depression, they just get pushed over the edge by something or someone.