Suicide

[namelesswonder]

suicide is fucking selfish. My best friend killed herself in the 9th grade and i was pissed off more than anything that she would even consider fucking doing that dumb shit.

Wait until you've had to pull yourself back from that ledge.

who is to say that i've never been there? you might have not been on this board when i was severly struggling with depression and had to check myself into a clinic, instead of killing myself leaving everyone who loves me, my kids, my life i got help. maybe help doesnt work for everyone so whatever but yes i have been there...

Well its good that you were able to pull back enough to get help. Some people can't. It is selfish yes, but sometimes its hard to see any other way.

[Buddenstocks]

Having been there myself (as it seems everybody has at one point), it's a really tough topic to swallow still. However, I believe people have the right to make jokes about whatever they please. That being said, of cousre I don't find it funny when people joke about killing themselves or about other people dying but I'm sure they don't appreciate my jokes either. I find that making fun of things makes me feel a bit better about having gone through so much pain. As stupid as it sounds, I still sort of make fun of some of the things my Grandpap used to do but it's because I miss him so fucking much that it hurts. I guess I feel like kidding about it will make him come back or maybe just make it seem not so sad to be. It's not the best logic, but it helps me not to cry every day.
Same thing with suicide, I myself will joke about it sometimes simply because I find it ridiculous that I once wanted to take myself away from people who love my unconditionally. However, if anybody came up to me and said they thought about killing themselves - I would take them very seriously. But joking about it sometimes just makes me feel better and feel like I've triumphed over a rough patch in my life. When people don't realize the gravity of what they're saying, that's when I have a problem with their jokes.

[Sperpis]

I think a lot of people think it is cool or hip to be "dark" or to emulate stereotypical behavior of those who are truly depressed. Truth is, those who experience true depression are actually experiencing pain and hopelessness the likes of which all those little "goth" or "emo" kids have never even imagined!
I am guilty of glorifying death and darkness. Then again I am a diagnosed bipolar stuck in the depression phase of the illness. When I say I want to die, I am not saying it because I think it's stylish; I am saying it because I truly feel it. I believe that if one of those kids could live in my head during one of my spells, he or she may be convinced that macabre thoughts are not as cool as they think them to be.

[ilovemarkunseen]

i so get where you ll are coming from about joking about suicid i do it i am not going to lie but when i do it the is more of a stament then a joke o just dont think people know how to take it so they think its a joke i lost a friend three weeks after i graduated from hs and that has forever shaped my life! in a good and bad way now if i start to think about killing myself i think kool i can be with him again, but i all so remember the looks on friends faces at the fruneal and the feeling in the pit of your being that just hurts so bad and nothing can take it away. the odd thing is i work in a mental hospital but would never ask for help in the back of my mind is if i live past dec 7 2008 then i will never kill myself the one promise i have made and intend to keep

[BabyGrlBones]

I was realy sick as a kid with my lung problem and i never felt normal so when i was 13 i tried to kill myslef (spare you the details) but it didn't work and i am greatfull cause now i have 4 beautiful kids and i will addmit that i still think about it from time to time, my kids faces pull me through that depression!!! it got really thick when my uncle shot himself in 2005!! it was and still is so hard to except that he is gone!!!! it is a selfish act but you can't judge!! i wish he found some other way out of his depression but he didn't! he felt alone, he was one of those heavy guys most people look at when you pass then on the street and you think "fat ass"! but he was so much more that what everyone saw. he would help anyone that needed it! most people took advantage of that but he never minded he just wanted to be loved and excepted. he tried to diet to gain exceptance nothing worked so he had gastric-bi-pass (how ever you spell that) it's where they cut you stomach in half! he could only eat a table spoon of food at meal time or he would get sick. he refused to take his pain med.s i guess it got to be to much for him a hundred pounds dropped then he killed himself!!! i have a tattoo on my for arm in his memorie! I LUV YOU UNCLE BUDDY RIP

I have an up date since the last time I posted this! My Grand mother (uncle buddy's mom) took my uncles suicied so hard that she short her self in the stomach and then the heart!!! My grandfather found her as she lay bleeding to death, emt's worked on her for 30 min. but she didn't make it!!! At times I feel so lost I love them so much!!!!

[BabyGrlBones]

I was realy sick as a kid with my lung problem and i never felt normal so when i was 13 i tried to kill myslef (spare you the details) but it didn't work and i am greatfull cause now i have 4 beautiful kids and i will addmit that i still think about it from time to time, my kids faces pull me through that depression!!! it got really thick when my uncle shot himself in 2005!! it was and still is so hard to except that he is gone!!!! it is a selfish act but you can't judge!! i wish he found some other way out of his depression but he didn't! he felt alone, he was one of those heavy guys most people look at when you pass then on the street and you think "fat ass"! but he was so much more that what everyone saw. he would help anyone that needed it! most people took advantage of that but he never minded he just wanted to be loved and excepted. he tried to diet to gain exceptance nothing worked so he had gastric-bi-pass (how ever you spell that) it's where they cut you stomach in half! he could only eat a table spoon of food at meal time or he would get sick. he refused to take his pain med.s i guess it got to be to much for him a hundred pounds dropped then he killed himself!!! i have a tattoo on my for arm in his memorie! I LUV YOU UNCLE BUDDY RIP

I have an up date since the last time I posted this! My Grand mother (uncle buddy's mom) took my uncles suicied so hard that she short her self in the stomach and then the heart!!! My grandfather found her as she lay bleeding to death, emt's worked on her for 30 min. but she didn't make it!!! At times I feel so lost I love them so much!!!!

I looked at the date I wrote the first one and it was feb 07 my Nana killed herself 4 months after my post!!!!!

[Wolfmoon]

Been there, done that. I hate that I fit some sick 'stereotype' of the gothic sub-culture. It pisses me off, I joke about it. "Would've gotten more Goth points if I'd succeeded", shit like that helps deal with the feelings of 'failure' for surviving.

My step-father committed suicide when I was about 7. I didn't feel bad that he was gone, though. I'd seen him beat the crap out of my mother on numerous occcasions, so I figured 'fuck him'.

I think that everyone has(or should have) the right to end their lives, if they choose. Without having to deal with selfish people being angry at them for it. The biggest hypocrasy is selfish people calling suicidal people selfish because they have a mental illness. Utter bullshit. People who committ(or attempt) suicide are stuck in a world of pain that they see no other way out of. If I knew someone who told me they were thinking of committing suicide I would try to help them think of a different way to deal with their pain, but I sure as hell wouldn't be pissed at them for doing it. Those ridiculous people who would choose to make a terminally ill patient suffer a prolonged existance in hell when the patient would rather die quietly enrage me. I don't think the right to 'choose' should be limited to abortion. My body, my choice should extend to death and dying, as well.

A couple of years ago one of my cousins shot himself in the head because his baby's momma told him she wasn't going to allow him to see his daughter anymore. She'd been withholding visits just to torment the kid even though he was buying diapers and other things the baby needed. He didn't want to be around if he couldn't see his baby. He never suffered from depression and if he had succeeded, there's no way that bitch would've gotten away with thinking it wasn't her fault. Thankfully, he survived because he jerked the trigger when he fired and the gun wasn't right up against his skull. He's got a big M-shaped scar on the side of his head, now, but I'd rather see that than him in a grave. Some people that committ suicide don't have depression, they just get pushed over the edge by something or someone.

[JackieKay]

My whole school knows not to joke about suicide....one of the happiest girls ever commited suicide October 23, 2008 we were all affected. We still have some DAs that joke about it but I always yell at them when they do anything related to hanging because that's what happened and she had been almost like my role model. If you look up Emily Grace Robbins on youtube, you can see a video her best friend made for her.